


Dirty Trick

by MorinoAthame



Category: Final Fantasy XII
Genre: Humor, M/M, Making Out, Molestation, Storytelling, tree sex?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-20 23:45:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1530185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorinoAthame/pseuds/MorinoAthame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Balthier is bored and tries to have some fun at Vahn's expense. Things don't turn out quite how he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dirty Trick

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another older story I'm moving over to this archive.

It had been a long day of fighting undead creatures and other nasty monsters. The group was tired, dirty, and hungry as they stopped for the night but had too much adrenaline in their blood to simply eat and sleep. They gathered around a small fire, eating rabbit and keeping an ear on the growing darkness around them. Though, strangely, they'd seen no creatures for some time, and the rabbits had been very hard to come by for dinner.

In the face of growing boredom, Baltheir shifted on the soft bit of moss he'd found to plant himself on. He eyed each of his companions, eyes lingering a bit longer on Basch, until the knight met his gaze and gave a smile imperceptible to the rest of their companions. Smile received, he continued to look over their friends until his eyes landed on Vahn. The boy looked very bored, and Baltheir imagined he could cure his own boredom by... entertaining the young man.

Breaking the relative silence that had befallen them, the sky pirate addressed everyone. “Ever hear the story of the Ogidnew?” It was getting later, darker; everything beyond the light of the fire shrouded in pitch black darkness.

Fran, knowing both the story and where he was likely going with mentioning it, ignored him, her eyes closed and ears turned outward to observe their surroundings. Basch wasn't interested in whatever nonsense the pirate was up to, and neither was Ashe. Both simply looked back at him blankly. Vahn, like always, was hanging on the sky pirate's every word, and shifted as his curiosity was captured. Penelo seemed only moderately curious herself, but Vahn was the only one Baltheir was worried about.

With his intended target listening raptly, Baltheir continued, “It was near here. A wealthy man wanted to prove himself as a hunter, despite any lack of ability he had in the area. Not many people came out this far, and he figured he could somehow bag a big trophy and not have anyone see if he screwed things up. Ignoring the warnings that the place was too dangerous, he searched for a guide.

“Too afraid to do the job, he could find no guide, man after man declining his increasing offer of payment. About to give up, he finally found a poor native man who was more than desperate for a few gil. The native's name was DeFago.”

He paused briefly to see that he still held his audience. “They made camp not too far from here, down near the frozen lake. They were out in the wild for three days, but the hunter failed to kill any game. It was on the third night that a terrible windstorm came upon them. Unable to sleep for the storm, they could do no more than listen to the howls of the wind.

“As the storm dragged on, the hunter grew curious, wanting to see it for himself. He opened the flap of the tent, peeking out into what he was certain was a horrible storm. Only, when he looked, there was no wind. Yet, he could still hear the wind howling, hear the trees crashing together. Listening harder, thinking maybe the storm was just far off, it sounded more and more like the wind was calling a name... DeFago's name.”

Baltheir watched as Vahn shifted forward, eyes alight with curiosity. Taking a breath, he made everyone jump as he howled, “Da-faaaaaaaaaay-go!” Ignoring the glares from Ashe and Fran, and the sigh from Basch, he continued, “Da-faaaaaaaaaay-go!” He relished the shiver he saw run along Vahn as the boy scooted a little closer to Penelo. “The hunter thought he was losing his mind. But, DeFago had gotten out of his bed roll. He huddled in a corner of the tent, his head buried against his knees and arms around his head.

 “What's going on? The hunter demanded.

“It's nothing, DeFago mumbled into his knees, but the guide became more tense and restless as the wind continued to howl his name, louder and louder, closer and closer.”

Again he got them to jump as he howled, “Da-faaaaaaaaaaay-go! Da-faaaaaaaaaay-go!” Picking up the speed of his story, he resumed his normal tone. “DeFago suddenly jumped to his feet and began to run from the tent. The hunter grabbed him and wrestled him to the ground. You can't leave me here! The hunter cried desperately.

“The wind was persistent, calling out again.” He noted that they all seemed to tense, anticipating him howling again. Hiding a smirk, he acted like he didn't notice. “DeFago broke loose and ran into the darkness. He could be heard screaming as he went.” He paused again, seeing them expecting him to scream. It was also promising to see Vahn leaning forward and hanging on every word, as only someone so young and naive could.

“Again and again, he cried, Oh! My fiery feet! My burning feet of fire! His voice faded away over time and the wind died down as it did, as though carrying his voice away.

“The hunter huddled in the tent until day break, too scared to chase after his guide. Once he finally found the courage to come out, he followed his guide's tracks. They made their way through the trees and to the lake, then out onto the ice. But, soon, he noticed they grew further apart, becoming so long no hume could have taken them, as if something had helped him to hurry away.”

The sky pirate paused yet again, sipping some water as though he had all the time in the world. Vahn wriggled impatiently. And, glancing around, he noted Basch was watching the boy more than listening to the story. No doubt, he was curious what would happen as the boy continued to listen, or feared Vahn would actually lean all the way into the fire.

“Once to the middle of the ice, the tracks disappeared completely. At first, he thought the other man had fallen through the ice, but there wasn't any hole. Then, he thought maybe something had pulled him off the ice into the sky. But that made no sense.

“As he stood wondering what had happened, the wind picked up and began to howl again. He heard DeFago's voice coming from up above him. Again, he could be heard screaming, My fiery feet! My burning feet! But, the sky was clear and nothing could be seen.

“The hunter wanted to leave as fast as he could. He went back to camp and packed. He left some food for DeFago, and he started out, back to civilization.

“Foolishly, or perhaps bravely, the hunter returned the following year to hunt. He looked for a new guide where he had met DeFago. When asked, no one could explain what had happened to DeFago the year before. No one had seen him since.

“Maybe it was the Ogidnew, one native suggested, with a laugh. It's supposed to come with the wind and drag you along at great speed until your feet are burned away, then more of you than that. It carries you into the sky and drops you. But, it's just a crazy, scary story some locals tell.”

Baltheir sipped his water, hiding a smirk as Vahn swallowed and nervously glanced into the darkness around them. He looked at Basch, eyes dancing, and the knight shook his head at the sky pirate. As he sipped the water again, he grinned as the boy fidgeted. “That can't be it!” Vahn exclaimed when Baltheir took too long to continue.

With a chuckle only the knight beside him and Fran heard, he finished his tale. “A few days after hearing about the Ogidnew, he was back in the same shop where he'd met DeFago and heard the story. A native came in and sat by the fire. He had a blanket wrapped around him and a hat so you couldn't see his face. The hunter thought there was something familiar about the man.

“He walked over and asked, Are you DeFago? When he didn't answer, he asked, Do you know anything about him? There was still no answer, and he was beginning to wonder if something was wrong, if the man needed help. But, he couldn't see his face.

“Are you alright? He asked. Again, there was no answer.

“To get a look at him, he lifted the man's hat. Then,” he gave a lengthy pause. When Vahn shifted, leaning forward more, he continued in a suddenly very loud voice, “he screamed. There was nothing under the hat but a pile of ashes.”

The sky pirate sat back and stretched, yawning as if he'd done no more than announce the weather. It didn't go unnoticed the way Vahn had jumped again, or the way he shifted and glanced around. Baltheir looked to Basch and smirked, earning an eye roll from the older man.

Vahn cleared his throat nervously, trying his best to appear unaffected by the story. “That could never happen,” the younger man stated as confidently as possible.

“It was an interesting story,” Penelo smiled.

Baltheir grinned. “Would you like to hear another?”

Vahn swallowed but put up a brave face. “Hope it's scarier than the last,” he mumbled, crossing his arms as much as hugging himself.

Basch sighed to himself as Baltheir grinned broader. “Of course it is,” the pirate assured the boy, making Basch groan softly. The knight wondered what all of this was leading up to. Baltheir was definitely up to something. He just hoped it wasn't something too troublesome for the rest of them or their journey.

* * *

Basch sighed as he shifted against the tree he was relaxed against. He'd been on watch for a few hours, and Fran was due to relieve him before too long. Honestly, he'd doubted they needed a guard in this out of the way place, but it was better to be safe than sorry. And, Vahn had been antsy after Baltheir's stories. It put the boy at ease to have someone keeping guard.

The boy had originally volunteered to take first watch, but as anxious and jumpy as he was after the 'scary' stories, Basch had wisely told him no. Otherwise, they'd all be awakened every time the kid though he heard something. Especially the way the wind had picked up as it grew later in the night. It didn't reach them, where they slept on the forest floor, but it could be heard whipping the trees together high above them. There was even a bit of a howl to it on occasion.

The knight wondered if Baltheir had known the wind would be like this, if that was why he had chosen that old folk tale to tell them, though it would be more apt to say to tell Vahn.

Whatever Baltheir's reasons, musing on it would have to wait. Basch could hear rustling, though faint, and it sounded like something larger than a harmless rabbit. As quickly as possible, he stood and followed the sound. He frowned as he realized it was closer to camp than he thought, feeling like he should have heard it long before he did. His ax was at the ready as he crept closer to the sound, and he was about to strike when the scent of a very familiar expensive cologne reached his nose.

Sighing, he put his ax to his belt. “Are you trying to get yourself killed?” He asked the sky pirate, crossing his arms.

Glancing up, the younger man just gave him a cheeky grin that was somewhat smug. “You'd never kill me. I have far too many uses, most of which you're far too fond of.”

Basch shook his head. “Smug bastard. What are you up to?”

Baltheir grinned. “A little surprise for our young pirate wannabe.”

Sighing yet again, the knight asked as patiently as he could, even knights had limits to their patience, “Why do you delight in tormenting the boy so?” He felt it was his place to look out for Vahn, in the lad's older brother's stead.

The pirate smirked. “It's fun and easy,” he answered simply, with a shrug.

Basch found himself shaking his head again. “Whatever you're up to, don't. Let everyone get their rest.” He dropped his arms from across his chest and gave the younger man an almost pleading look.

Baltheir actually pouted, and the knight found it adorable, in its own way. “That's no fun,” he said, barely constraining a whine.

Stepping closer, Basch smirked. “Why don't I make it worth your while?” He kissed him suggestively, hands sliding around the leaner man's body. Pulling him close, he rubbed their groins together even more suggestively.

A small moan escaped the sky pirate. “I think...” He tried to gather his thoughts as more and more blood escaped his brain for his growing erection. “I think you may be onto something, sir knight,” he panted out as a groan forced its way from his throat, his head falling back and baring his long neck to Basch's talented mouth.

Basch gave an appreciative moan of his own as the other hooked a leg around his waist, making them grind together with more pressure, more friction, more direct contact. He fisted a hand in his lover's hair as he kissed him again, deeper. His other hand worked at buttons, wanting to touch skin.

They were lost to their lust, missing the arrival of another person until her voice interrupted them. “You will wake the others if you remain here,” she spoke in her usual straightforward manner.

Sighing, Baltheir leaned his head against Basch's chest, feeling his lover's chest heave as he panted softly from the limited air their kiss had allowed them. “Thank you, Fran. We'll move away.”

Her only response was to walk back toward camp to take up her watch.

Basch took Baltheir's hand, dragging him along behind him as he took them far enough away that they shouldn't bother anyone, except maybe Fran.

Baltheir grunted softly as his lover shoved him up against a tree. He moaned as Basch's stubble scraped his soft, sensitive skin. Lost to the pleasure of mouth and hair at his neck, it took a moment to realize he felt… watched. It felt like something was watching them up in the trees. But, he couldn't see a thing, not really even his lover who was chest to chest with him.

Focused on what may be out there watching, he barely felt the shifting surface beneath his back. “Basch…” he gasped as talented teeth assaulted a particularly sensitive spot. “Basch, stop.”

The knight slowly pulled away, confused. “What's wrong?”

Baltheir gave a soft chuckle. “You won't believe me, but I think the tree moved.” He focused on the surface under his back, but it made no further movement.

Basch gave him a cheeky smile reminiscent of one of Baltheir's own. “I'll move your entire world, if you let me continue,” he said, knowing the line was cheesy before he even said it.

Chuckling, Baltheir leaned up and kissed his lover. “By all means, move my world.” He gave him a matching grin, moaning as the knight's devilish mouth molested the sensitive spots of his neck again.

They were both in nothing but their pants and boots when they realized they should have paid more attention to what Baltheir thought he'd felt.

The sky pirate groaned, arching into the touch that was creeping up his inside thigh. “Please, Basch, stop teasing me. Just a little higher.” The touch moved higher, brushing over the tent in the front of the trousers, teasing the growing damp spot where the pirate was leaking inside his pants. So lost to the sensation, he failed to notice his lover had stopped moving, as had the hand on his chest.

Basch looked down at the sky pirate, watching him thrust forward with a look of ecstasy. Only, he wasn't touching his lover. Not where his lover was clearly receiving his pleasure.

Slowly, Basch looked down, dreading what he may see, even though he had no idea what it could be that he would. His eyes widened as he barely made out what was happening. “Baltheir... I'm not touching you,” he spoke softly, looking back up at his lover's face.

The sky pirate looked at him, eyes dazed with lust and incomprehension. Basch grabbed him and yanked him away from the tree, holding him possessively. Baltheir slowly began to realize something was wrong. “What…” he panted, trying to get his bearings. “What is going on?”

Basch said nothing, scooping their shirts and weapons up with one hand, the other still having a hold of his lover. “The tree was molesting you,” he answered, tone far too calm and rational for the sentence he'd just said.

Baltheir had to blink, as though he was drunk and trying to clear his vision. “Do you mind repeating that? I thought you just said the tree was molesting me.”

“I did,” he backed them away from the tree, horrified to see it moving toward them. And, not only it but several others around them. “Time to go.” Grabbing the pirate's hand, he quickly took off for camp.

Baltheir could do no more than run with the knight, mind stuck on the fact that he'd enjoyed a tree groping him. He'd never look at a tree the same way again.

Fran looked up as the two men tore into camp like a horde of monsters were on their tail. Something had obviously spooked them; they'd not even dressed before returning. She arched a brow and looked at Baltheir in question. “Don't ask,” he responded to her look. “Just… Just never mention it again.”

Falling onto his bedroll, the pirate pulled on the shirt Basch tossed at him before accepting his weapon from the other man. He didn't complain when the knight sat down behind him, he knew he'd not get any sleep until they were out of the woods. It was also comforting to know Basch would chop every tree to splinters that tried to touch him again, at least the ones he didn't make firewood out of himself. Leaning into the strong body behind him, he resigned himself to a long night and a tiring day.

Both men missed Vahn shift on his bedroll and wink at Fran, who gave him a small, knowing smile. It had been a dirty trick, but Baltheir deserved it for all the shit he gave the boy, as well as all the trouble he'd dragged Fran into over the years. Fran gave the forest a silent thank you as she continued her watch, preparing herself for how irritable the sleepless pirate would be the next day.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone familiar with the story of the Wendigo will recognize it for what it is, I simply turned the name around.


End file.
